I Don’t Know, But You Do. Do You?

I don’t know if you know but I know you noticed this notice, so I want to put it on this notice that I know you noticed my notice and no I don’t know who knows the words to this notice, but I know you know. I took notice.

Today is not yesterday and yesterday is not today. Tomorrow is a possible today and never a yesterday. Yesterday was once tomorrow but will never be today. Today stays today no matter the yesterday and no matter the tomorrow. The future can only be seen through the eyes of today. The day is conquered the moment you open your eyes. Why lie when you can lie down.

A clown is a frown upside down who happens to tell jokes. How many fish does it take to fill a fish bowl? One, but it has to be a really big fish. A big fish in the sea is an even more popular fish when in a small fish bowl. A fish out of a bowl is a fish in too deep. Would you make love to a fish if it took you out to a real nice lobster dinner?

I haven’t given my blog much love and I want to apologize to you for that. I know it’s so simple to just write a few paragraphs and thus fulfill my duties as a blog writer through content creation and beautification of the souls that lift up with gratification. Gravity exists to gift the souls that need a lift but can’t afford Uber . . Or Lyft. I know that no is a word that no one loves to hear, but someone has to say it.


I don’t like to hear that word.


When a man loves a woman he loses logic to lust. Lust is like rust as in if you don’t take care of the metal it loses its polish and develops rust. Rust then gives you tetanus. So don’t be hesitant to express the opposite of hate and propagate some time to share the love for never is worse than late.

How is the brain even making sense of this writing? Have you thought of that? Well, now you have but like . . How can we understand these little characters that in turn symbolize meanings that trigger emotion that give reason to remember this moment, calculate the valence, and store it.

Our brain really is just a bunch of neurons that when put into a microscope are just a bunch of atoms that when put into a microscope are just a bunch of quarks that when put into a microscope is meta to the third power.


The Porn Industry Changed…

The Porn Industry Has Changed…

They say the oldest profession in existence to this day is sexual intercourse for monetary gain; also known as prostitution. A lot has changed since the medieval times where goats were exchanged for woman as property. Now with the advancements of technology and evolution of humanity we have attempted to add a sense of prestige to prostitution with a change of name, “pornography”, and a change of title, “adult performer”. In this essay I will be sharing a brief history of pornography, problems within the industry, and where the industry is going from here.


In 1972 one of the most popular adult films to hit theatres was released; Deep Throat by Gerard Damiano’s. It was a high value production with a complex storyline, cinema quality cameras, and they had to have studio time. Fast forward to today the production has changed from that, to random joes with a cellphone making porn. The point is anyone and everyone is making porn, and anyone and everyone is watching porn. In fact, according to a study done by Nielson Company reports that more than 21 million people accessed porn on work computers in March 2010 alone (Montopoli, 2010). That’s 29% of working adults. I don’t even feel comfortable checking my messages on my phone without worrying that my boss will see. I can’t imagine how 21 million people are comfortable watching pornography with their boss in the same building.

Life working in the industry as an adult performer can be polarizing. At one instance a performer named Carly Rae said that porn has “given me independence and self-esteem” (Knight, 2018). In the opposite spectrum a porn star by the name of August Ames committed suicide after receiving a barrage of negative remarks on her twitter post where she shared that she would not have sex with a performer who previously worked in gay porn as a “crossover performer” (Horn, 2018). They called her homophobic, discriminatory and in the end, Ames could not take the criticism and hanged herself. Her husband Moore believes that cyberbullying was what pushed her into despair. Ever since her death became public the adult industry has been doing more to address the mental health of their performers.

 Adult Performer Advocacy Committee (APAC) is one of the few organizations that support adult performers and provide resources such as physicians, attorneys, therapists, and other professional support. Moore, August Ames husband, plans on establishing the August Project, a suicide prevention hotline staffed with people who understand the situations adult performers go through. APAC has a model bill of rights on their website that offers new performers, and existing performers, a code of ethics that “helps guide moral and to maintain a general positive experience in their careers” (2018).


The changes in technology have allowed us to be ever more connected with expanding networks of friends, acquaintances, and “followers”. As well as the advancements in camera technology we no longer need a high budget to create quality porn. Videos created on mobile phones are getting just as many views as a video from a film production company making it less enticing to spend the unnecessary money. Furthermore, the performers are finding themselves needing different ways to make money and since more people are getting into the industry the competition is fierce. Sex will never die because it is essential to life and if we want to thrive we innately, subconsciously, and genetically need to reproduce. The money will follow.


APAC. (2018). “Model Bill of Rights”. Retrieved from http://www.apac-usa.com/model-bill-of-rights

Horn, T. (2018). “How August Ames’ Suicide is Changing the Porn Industry”. Retrieved from


Knight, K. (2018). “Student-turned porn star: My job has ‘changed my life for the better’”.

Retrieved from https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/student-turned-porn-star-my-job-has-changed-my-life-for-the-better

Montopoli, B.(2010). “29% Accessed Porn on Work Computers Last Month”. Retrieved from https://www.cbsnews.com/news/29-accessed-porn-on-work-computers-last-month/

If Superhero’s were Real…

If I had to choose a superhero to save me it would have to be Superman. It would be Superman because he is my favorite superhero. I remember being a little kid and buying VHS tapes of the Superman cartoon from the 99 cent store and binge watching him “leap tall buildings” in a single bound, or “look, in the sky! It’s a bird, It’s a plan, no. It’s Superman!”

Christopher Reeves playing Superman was my jam as a young-in. In Superman III when the lady gets sucked into the computer I was so freaked out I had nightmares for days.

“Look, in the sky! It’s a bird, It’s a plane! No, It’s Superman!”

-Citizen of Metropolis.

It would be Superman because he can fly, shoot lasers through his eyes, see through people’s disguise; x-ray, blow ice through his mouth, and still hook up with Lois Lane even though he’s shy.


If I were to be real with you, I don’t think Superman could ever exist. Someone who is more likely to exist is Batman. Therefore, Batman would be the one to save me if I were in peril. But, let’s be real; No one’s saving me. Batman could give two fucks about saving me. I mean, who the fuck am I? 

He’d probably be too busy buying stocks or arguing with his investor about capital then taking the time to drive around in the bat-mobile picking up chicks until he gets pulled over by the cops where his alibi is that he was “fighting crime.” I mean, how can you have a butler named Alfred doing chores for you while you save the world? Priorities Mr. Wayne. You have to prioritize.

Thank You for Your Time 8)



The Problem of Cults and a Probable Solution

Stock Photo of Spiritual Gathering.

June 09, 2020

A belief is an affirmation of one’s existence. It gives humanity a reason to suffer, a reason to do good, and a reason not to kill someone just because they accidentally stepped on your brand new blue suede shoes. But, how do we know when these beliefs, that we learn from others, are genuine or if they have hidden agendas? Religion is a major source of our beliefs in civilization; so much that we based our laws on governing bodies on the teachings of the Bible. Even our dollar bill has, “In God We Trust”. In this essay, I will be exploiting the issue‘s of organizations that exploit peoples beliefs for personal gain; in specific, a cult.

In the documentary Holy Hell, by Will Allen, it shares a true account of a “spiritual leader” who had devoted followers that gave everything to feel “closer to god”. Closer to god as in the freedom to feel safe with who one is, what one has, where they are in life, and who they associate with. This cult started in California in the 80’s, and was led by a man named Michel. Michel was an aspiring actor who had become certified in hypnotherapy. Hypnotherapy is a form of therapy that uses language to control the recipient during a relaxed state of mind. It is meant to bypass the critical thinking part of the brain and transmit directly to the minds processing system; short and long-term memory.

Michel used this as a tool to manipulate his follower by increasing the chemicals in the brain, such as dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, etc., with the use of language and attached those feelings to the experiences they shared with him. This in turn created an association of happiness with spending time with Michel. Tolhuizen’s specifies certain techniques for intensifying relationships that Michel took advantage of. Increased contact; Michel would have sexual relations with his followers during “counseling sessions”, verbal expressions of affection; the key theme was love for life, love for brethren, and love for Michel, and behavioral adaptation; Michel convinced his followers to donate a majority of their earnings from employment to supporting the cult (Guerrero et al., p. 121).

This support could be as small as buying groceries, to as big as paying for the construction of a theatre for live play’s. The best way to prevent this materialistic, psychological/emotional, and physical exploitation of a person is to understand the source. The source is the communication the Michel used to convince his followers that he was more than human. This intensifying of relationships through sexual relations; often in secret, and manipulation of beliefs; often through the use of hypnotherapy. In the Bible it states that there should be only one God that is true, and the mistake that these people made was believing in idols or other forms of worship; in this case it was Michel.

To prevent people from losing sense of self during these times is to be able to separate or avoid oneself physically from the source (Guerrero et al., p. 125). Michel, or the Master, made it a point to have his followers live every single moment with him. They moved in, and some even quit their jobs to spend more time with the Master. Another way to combat this from happening is to remember, or to be able to reflect on one’s past and apply it to the present. If someone feels like they need other’s to be normal it is a warning sign of dependence. Once we become dependent on others we give them power over us.

Therefore, in this essay I defined the issue of manipulation, and exploitation of beliefs. Relationships can be detrimental to one’s health and status when they become overdependent on others. In order to prevent this from happening it is necessary to avoid, and separate oneself from those they are attached to in order to be able to reflect on oneself. It is not selfish to care for oneself, but a necessity.

How to Pray (Talking to God One on One).

Quick Note Before Reading:

  • This is based in Christian theology. However, all religions, beliefs, people are encouraged to read.
  •  The bullet points are the lessons given by my Father (Biological). The boldRead” are the lessons given by our Father (Spiritual), and they are there to provide You the direct source, and to further Your study.
  • In the end we all are on different levels in our path to Godliness, and every one’s path is unique. This is not meant to challenge, provoke, or make anyone question or challenge their own ways of doing things, rituals, etc. It’s simply here as a tool to those who might find it beneficial.
  • Feel free to comment your own methods on prayer, offer corrections, or provide additional guidance or feedback. I am after all a human being and make mistakes.

How to Pray (Talking to God One on One)

  • Our prayers should be in the name of Jesus Christ always.

Read John 14:6, 13, 14; 15:16; 16:23, 24.

  • Our prayers should be in secret. We are to tell God alone of our needs.

Read Matthew 6:5-14.

  • Our prayers should be specific. Tell God exactly what you want.

Read Luke 11:5.

  • We should be persistent in our prayers. We should not stop praying everyday till we get the answer.

Read Luke 11:5 – 10; 18:1 – 8; Mark 10: 46 – 52; Matthew 15: 21 – 28; Romans 1:9.

  • We are to pray in faith. By reading the Word of God with the intention to hear & obey generates faith.

Read Romans 10:17; Mark 11:22, 23.

*** When your Faith is low.

Read Hebrews 11 (Whole Chapter).

  • We are to pray according to His will by asking for it.

Read James 1:5 – 8. By seeking God’s ways in the Word of God, noting whether the Holy Spirit encourages us to go on praying a certain prayer, we come to understand the will of God.

  • We should pray with a desire to please & obey God.

Read 1John 3:23.

*** When we abide in Him, we truly obey Him & please Him.

Read John 15 (Whole chapter); Matthew 22:35 – 40.

  • We should always give a prayer of praise & thanksgiving. Every time something good happens in our life whether we ask for it or not. Our prayers become heavy & slow (Takes too long to answer), when we don’t thank God for what he has already done for us.

Read Luke 17:11 – 19.

  • Every day we should pray the minute we wake up in the morning that we will be kept safe all day. Free from accidents &/or harm. Before we sleep, we should thank God for helping us get through the day safe, etc.

Read Exodus 34:4 – 9; Mark 1:35.

  • We should pray at every opportunity. Pray before going anywhere (In the car, bus, etc). When something pops in your mind, pray for it. Just remember nothing happens by chance. God always has something to do with it if its good. The devil (Satan) has to do with evil things like lying, stealing, killing, drugs, etc. Pray before making any decisions. Bad things only happen because God allows it. He is in control of everything.

Read Romans 12:12; Nehemiah 2:4.

  • God wants us to pray & ask him before doing anything. A lot of king (Rulers) in the bible failed because they tried to do things on their own without asking God for advice. Adam & Eve did not pray when the serpent (Satan) approached them in the Garden of Eden. Eve tried to do things on her own (Without praying first) and that’s why she was deceived by Satan.

Read Genesis 3:4 – 6.

Hindrance to Prayer

  • Unforgiveness – Main blockage to our prayers. If we don’t forgive others their trespasses, God the Father will not forgive ours.

Read Matthew 6:14, 15; 18:21 – 23; Mark 11:25, 26.

  • Selfishness – We should pray that God take away our sinful desires. Often the reason God does not supply what a person desires is simply that he knows it will not benefit that person. God is not obliged to answer our prayers in the affirmative. He will not act in ways that are contrary to his will even if he is besieged by fervent prayers. Anytime we seek to further our personal pleasures through prayer, we are asking amiss.

Read James 4:1 – 6; Matthew 6:31 – 34.

  • Failure to thank God – We should always thank God for everything good that happens in our lives. Whether we ask for it or not.

Read Romans 1:21; Luke 17: 11 – 19.

  • Idolatry (Idols in the heart) – This is placing anything before God. These can be friends, pleasures, habits, hobbies, sports, possessions, business, reputation, money, etc. You can have all these, but God has to come first. Idols are not just carved images. They are the godless cravings & commitments that rule in our hearts.

Read Ezekiel 14: 3 – 5.

  • Disobedience to the Word of God (God’s Will) – Basically God put it in our conscience what is right & wrong. By reading the bible you will find our more of what other God’s will are.

Read Proverbs 28: 5 – 9, 13 – 14; 15: 8 – 9.

  • Stubborn Self-Will – Doing what you want although it’s against God’s will.

Read 1Samuel 15:10 – 23; Colossians 2:23.

  • God does not hear sinners.

Read John 9:31; Proverbs 15:29; Isaiah 1:15; Micah 3:4.


Quantum Mechanics and the Conscious Conscience.

Did God the create the universe, or was it the after effects of the big bang? These questions arise due to our ability to reflect on the very nature of things; to be aware or conscious. We are conscious; aware that we exist, and we are able to manipulate the environment around us. All we need to change the world is focus, and the will to do so. What if consciousness was tangible, and had two states: Energy, and Matter. The world around us is dependent on our subjective perception; reality is what we make it. Breakthroughs in quantum physics are shedding light in understanding more about the mind. Therefore, Quantum theory may lay a path to discovering how our internal reality; consciousness, effects our external reality; physical surroundings, and once realized may increase the readers capability to influence the real world. It is a common assertion to say consciousness derives from the mind, and the mind is physically located in the brain. Before delving into the philosophical nature of consciousness let’s get a frame on how the brain works:

The brain functions by sending information through electrical and chemical neurons, or cells. These neurons create patterns that are initiated through external stimuli. The activation of a neuronal assembly is necessary to make the encoded content consciously accessible. This activation is considered to be initiated by external stimuli. Mental effort can prolong the lifetime of the neuronal assemblies that represent the templates for action due to quantum effects. A template is the neural correlate of a mental representation and is activated if the neurons forming the assembly fire at a higher rate than the default; exocytosis. A neuron is a cell that transmits information electrically and chemically by using excitable nerve impulses through the brain using the synapse. (Atmanspacher).


In order to understand what a synapse is let us relate it to an old telephone switchboard that is controlled by a local operator. The operator is your mental effort, and the connection of wires, or neurons, are based on the information provided by the one who called, the external stimuli.

Within the brain comes the mental entity; the mind. Mind is the concept of identity and existence. The mind is where we process attention, sensations, emotions, and images. Attention is an intentional state of mind, and is where consciousness comes from, “Consciousness just is intentionality; to be in a conscious state is to be in an intentional state” (Addis 1). Consciousness comes in two parts: conscious by willfully focusing one’s attention, and sub-conscious where the brain runs independently from one’s will.

DeWall conducted an experiment testing the difference between the conscious and sub-conscious states when conducting logical reasoning, and found that being attentive, or conscious, can have a counter-intuitive effect compared to being subconscious when conducting reason:

The results of Experiment 1 favored the view that the impairment of logical reasoning caused by cognitive load is due to interference with conscious (as opposed to non-conscious) processing. Participants in the non-conscious load conditions showed no impairments in logical reasoning, even though their non-conscious system continued to work on thoughts and cues regarding the former relationship (DeWall).

So, the mind does not have to be aware of its process in order to function. This may explain why we need to sleep; to allow our subconscious to take over and create a proper foundation for the following day when we use that information and manipulate it through conscious, or attentive, means. Musicians use the power of the subconscious to create some of their best works, because the lack of attention to specific moments creates a better sound overall.

Now that we have a thorough understanding of consciousness, we will delve further into the secrets of quantum theory and get a better understanding of how internal reality; energy, can transform into external reality; matter. There are two models when dealing with physics: the standard model of physics and the modern model. The standard model was established by Isaac Newton, and it was accurate when it came to measuring matter that can be seen with the naked eye. Albert Einstein helped create the modern model of physics, that was made to measure matter in an atomic, and sub-atomic scale; matter that cannot be seen by the naked eye.


Quantum theory falls into the modern model of physics and has developed radical theories on experiments conducted. We will discuss two: the double-slit experiment, and the Schrödinger cat paradox. The double-slit experiment deals with light particles known as photons. Imagine a light shining through a single slit, and projecting into a wall. The light particles go through the single slit only passing through what is open. When two slits are created the light changes its form from particle to wave diffracting itself, creating a pattern across the wall of dark and bright dots. The observer effect happens when someone consciously focuses their attention on the photons that are passing the slits, inducing a particle like behavior just like the first single slit. The light particles shaped into two slits.

It was when the observer did not consciously focus on the double-slit experiment that the light particles transformed into waves creating a pattern of dark and bright dots. This then leads to the conclusion that the observer’s conscious efforts manipulate the result of the experiment. Pradhan conducted an interesting experiment that expanded from the double-slit experiment observer effect:

The first postulate takes care of the fact that everything physical has a psychic counterpart. The second postulate ensures that a mere passing thought for fleeting moments does not produce the desired effect. It is attention or concentrated thought that is required for the purpose. Thus, the psychophysical parallelism is broken and is now replaced by interactionism or psychic activism (Pradhan).

The experiment had half the observers meditate on one of the two slits, and the other half did not use any means of attention. The results led to the conclusion that the mind can interact with matter by one’s use of free-will; conscious process. Schrödinger devised a thought experiment known as the paradox of Schrödinger’s cat.

In Schrödinger’s experiment, a live cat is put into a box containing a small amount of radioactive material, and a bottle of poison. In the normal world, we would expect there to be a 50-50 chance of finding the cat alive after opening the box:

Quantum physics presents a very different and quite bizarre picture. It asserts that, until we make a measurement (open the box, or even peep through a tiny window), the radioactive atom is in a sort of limbo, and it is neither ‘whole’ nor decayed.

The entire apparatus, including the cat, is described by the superposition of two quantum states — one in which the cat is alive and the other in which it is dead (Rowlands). Superposition is the phenomena where matter can be at two places at once. In the cat experiment it isn’t until the box is opened and observed that the cat dies or survives. Let us revise what has been established:

  1. The mind is what shapes our concept of identity, and existence.
  2. The mind physical counterpart is the brain, and the brain transmits information by assembling specific neuronal patterns that are dependent on external stimuli.
  3. Consciousness is an intentional state of being, subjective perception.
  4. Consciousness has two parts: The attentive level known as consciousness, and the inattentive level known as the subconscious. Both parts play an important role in logical deduction of what is real.
  5. Quantum theory proves that internal reality; conscious thought, can manipulate external reality; matter in the form of light wave/particle duality.
  6. Explained by the double-slit experiment observer effect.

George Musser from Scientific American gives a useful metaphor to help understand this ambiguity in reality:

For a sense of why the ambiguity arises, consider how we experience geography in everyday life. We might suppose there is a unique “real” shape to the landscape—what Google Earth shows—but in practice the shape is defined by the experience of being embedded within that landscape, and that experience can vary. A student running late to an exam, an athlete hobbling on a sprained ankle, a professor walking with a colleague while deep in conversation and a cyclist yelling at pedestrians to get out of the way will perceive very different campuses. A short distance for one may seem an interminable crossing to another. When we eschew the view from on high, we can no longer make definitive statements about what is where (Musser).

Therefore, it is reasonable to conclude that our mental efforts, our conscious, our attention, has a direct influence in the physical realm of reality that we see. A question to ponder is what if we collaborated our mental efforts and fused our consciousness into one. Would the collaborative attention create a stronger interaction with the physical realm? Is consciousness independent of each entity, and or does it play a more uniformed role within the universe. Are all our minds intertwined in some kind of mental mapping, that in turn allows matter to retain its physical shape.

Our attitudes of ourselves are important when living in this world. Our observation of ourselves, of others, and of the physical realm are independent on how clear or distorted our mind perceives reality. If this is the case, then we should be always striving to create a subjective environment where we can thrive. One where laughter, and happiness come often. An environment where tears are shed because of joy, not of sadness. An environment where stress is not detrimental to health but used as an effective tool to in attentive logical reasoning. Hindering our perspective on what’s possible will result in a poor lifestyle. We now know that we are capable of creating a reality that we see fit. We just need to be able to believe, visualize, then apply. Let us end this discussion with an excerpt from Dyson’s book titled Infinite in All Directions:


The universe shows evidence of the operations of mind on three levels. The first level is the level of elementary physical processes in quantum mechanics. Matter in quantum mechanics is not an inherent substance but an active agent, constantly making choices. It appears that mind, as manifested by the capacity to make choices, is to some extent inherent in every electron. The second level at which we detect operations of mind is the level of direct human experience. Our brains appear to be devices for the amplification of the mental component of the quantum choices made by molecules inside our heads. We are the second big step in the development of the mind. Now comes the argument from design. There is evidence from peculiar features of the laws of nature that the universe as a whole is hospitable to the growth of mind. The argument here is merely an extension of the Anthropic Principle up to a universal scale. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe in the existence of a third level of mind, a mental component of the universe. If we believe in this mental component and call it God, then we can say that we are small pieces of God’s mental apparatus (Dyson).

God isn’t necessarily a separate entity, but an extension of the mind; a sort of alter ego per-say, that is you. It may be awkward to believe that we control the universe through thoughts. I mean, we aren’t superhero’s after all and that’s fine because we don’t control the universe through thoughts, but instead the universe controls us through our thoughts. God is the direct communication to the subconscious conscious. Our comprehension may never fully grasp the capacity that it contains for it is not something you can fill in a container. With quantum mechanics the line is only a frame of reference, and that frame of reference only exists once you acknowledge it. So when someone say’s the sky’s the limit in the quantum world, they are limiting themselves.

Works Cited

Addis, Laird. Mind: Ontology and Explanation: Collected Papers 1981-2005. De Gruyter, 2008.

Philosophical Analysis. EBSCOhost, libproxy.csun.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=nlebk&AN=603698&site=ehost-live.

Atmanspacher, Harald. “Quantum Approaches to Consciousness.” The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Summer 2015 Edition), plato.stanford.edu/entries/qt-consciousness/.

DeWall, Nathan C., et al. “Evidence that logical reasoning depends on conscious processing.” Conscious and Cognition vol. 17, no. 3, Sep. 2008, pp. 628-645., ScienceDirect, doi: 10.1016/j.concog.2007.12.004.

Dyson, Freeman J. Infinite in All Directions. Harper & Row, Publishers, 1988.

Johnson-Laird, P.N., “Logic, Probability, and Human Reasoning.” Trends in Cognitive Science, vol. 19, no. 4, Apr. 2015, pp. 1-14. ScienceDirect, doi: 10.1103/RevModPhys.81.865.

Lewis, Peter J. Quantum Ontology:  A Guide to the Metaphysics of Quantum Mechanics. Oxford

University Press, 2016. OxfordScholarshipOnline, m.oxfordscholarship.com/mobile/view/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780190469825.001.0001/acprof-9780190469825.

Rowlands, Peter. How Schrodinger’s Cat Escaped the Box. World Scientific, 2015. EBSCOhost, libproxy.csun.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=nlebk&AN=942200&site=ehost-live.

Pradhan, Rajat Kumar. “An Explanation of Psychophysical Interactions in the Quantum Double- slit Experiment.”http://dx.doi.org.libproxy.csun.edu/10.4006/0836-1398-28.3.324


Mock Up’s of Work Writings.

Mock Up’s of Work Writings.

These are assignments I did at university, and If you click on the links it will open a page to the documents. This is like, job job stuff. I got to keep my options open, you know?


Long Report