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If Superhero’s were Real…

If I had to choose a superhero to save me it would have to be Superman. It would be Superman because he is my favorite superhero. I remember being a little kid and buying VHS tapes of the Superman cartoon from the 99 cent store and binge watching him “leap tall buildings” in a single bound, or “look, in the sky! It’s a bird, It’s a plan, no. It’s Superman!”


Christopher Reeves playing Superman was my jam as a young-in. In Superman III when the lady gets sucked into the computer I was so freaked out I had nightmares for days.


“Look, in the sky! It’s a bird, It’s a plane! No, It’s Superman!”

-Citizen of Metropolis.

It would be Superman because he can fly, shoot lasers through his eyes, see through people’s disguise; x-ray, blow ice through his mouth, and still hook up with Lois Lane even though he’s shy.

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If I were to be real with you, I don’t think Superman could ever exist. Someone who is more likely to exist is Batman. Therefore, Batman would be the one to save me if I were in peril. But, let’s be real; No one’s saving me. Batman could give two fucks about saving me. I mean, who the fuck am I? 

He’d probably be too busy buying stocks or arguing with his investor about capital then taking the time to drive around in the bat-mobile picking up chicks until he gets pulled over by the cops where his alibi is that he was “fighting crime.” I mean, how can you have a butler named Alfred doing chores for you while you save the world? Priorities Mr. Wayne. You have to prioritize.

Thank You for Your Time 8)

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